Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo!

Kettle Brand Krinkle Cut Bufflao Bleu

First, what the heck is up with Kettle Brand that all their packaging has the evil bag-ruining notch in the upper right corner? Is this some kind of scam on their part, knowing the bag will be opened to the point of uncloseability so we'll have to eat all the chips or let them go stale?

I saw these at the local Kroger (which apparently has a wider variety of chips than most grocery stores ... coincidence?) and being a fan of both buffalo and blue cheese I didn't have to think for long before buying them.

On opening the bag my first thought was that it was only half-full (or maybe half-empty). Yeah, I know. "This product is packaged by weight, not volume" and "The air-filled package helps keep the chips from getting crushed."  Blah blah blah. It still makes you guys look like you're trying to pull a fast one - especially when combined with the whole notch thing. I've got my eye on you!

Anyway...

I found the scent of the chips a bit disappointing. There was a decent amount of blue cheese smell, but only a hint of buffalo ... maybe. It was that faint, really.

The chips had a moderate amount of powder on them - these are definitely wash-hands-after-eating chips, which on further thought is probably a necessity because of the whole buffalo thing.

It was in the tasting that everything came together. ZING! There it is! Full-on spice followed by some decent buffalo flavor and a bleu finish. On top of that the chips had a pretty good afterburn.

Rating:  4/5

Generally Disappointing

Private Selection General Tso's Chicken

This was one of those cases where I really didn't know what to expect. The premise certainly sounded interesting, but I haven't reviewed any of the Private Selection brand chips so there was no track record to go by. Still, it's all for science ... or whatever.

The scent of these chips was a bit low-key. There was a good amount of barbecue and maybe hints of bell pepper.

The chips had a moderate amount of powder on them, though it was mostly chip-colored which made it less noticeable. They also had the kettle-chip greasiness.

I should probably admit here that I don't like kettle chips as much as other kinds. Not because of the greasiness, but I find them to be a bit too hard and sharp. Why do I keep buying them? Well, partly because I really like to try new flavors. Mostly though is because Cindy really likes them so I don't have to worry about open bags going stale.

Ok, enough of that.  Back to the review ...

They did have a good amount of chicken flavor, along with a sweet touch and maybe a hint of ... banana? There was an odd, almost plastic aftertaste though that (upon much painful thinking) was reminiscent of cheap Chinese food.

On the whole, I suppose it was a fairly accurate reproduction of General Tso's Chicken. Not from a restaurant I'd go back to often though.

Rating: 2/5

Just In Queso

Kettle Brand Krinkle Cut Spicy Queso

I tried Lay's Southwestern Queso last year and they turned out to be pretty good, so that kind of cranked up the expectations when I found these at the local Kroger.

One moment for a brief digression:  Note the cut off top of the package because of Kettle Brand's evil "easy-open" notch documented in the post for their Chile Verde chips.  Hello, Snyder-Lance?  Are you listening?  Cease your evil ways immediately!  A curse upon your head of packaging!

Now that I have that out of the way, on to the quest for the queso!

These chips had a reasonably pleasant scent of smoked paprika and cheese. I said "reasonably" because they also smelled a bit ... musty?

The chips were dusted with a slight amount of yellow and brown powder, with little green flecks. As typical with kettle chips, they're also pretty greasy.

The flavor wasn't bad, with a smokey taste and mild amount of spiciness. They didn't have much cheese flavor, except for an odd aftertaste that was almost bad parmesan.  On the whole these chips weren't bad, but they were kind of boring.

Rating: 3/5

Eenie Meenie Pepperoncini

Kettle Brand Pepperoncini

I've got a strange love/hate relationship with pepperoncini. Most of the time I really like them but every now and then I get one that tastes just a little too ... green?  I'm not sure what the disliked flavor is, really, though it's really strong in bell peppers and I sometimes taste it in green beans.

All of that is pretty tangential though because we're talking about potato chips here, so I'll get on with it.

I picked these up at the local Kroger. It turns out my store has a surprisingly large selection of chips - including more varieties of Kettle Brand than they even list on their website. Coincidence? Or are they aware of my compulsion?

The scent of these chips is pretty light. I only got a slight vinegar smell that was close to what I would expect from dill pickle chips.

The chips had a moderate amount of powder on them, with a color that made them look almost dirty. They also had that kettle-chip greasiness.

For flavor they had a good pepperoncini taste with a light hint of garlic. After eating a few they seemed to be a cross between garlic pickle and sour cream and onion dip. Not bad, but not fantastic either. Then again, I'm not really sure what I was expecting from them.

Rating: 3/5

Honey Chipotle Don't Care

Lay's Kettle Cooked Honey Chipotle

I have to admit that the fact that the flavor has the word "honey" in the name made me hesitant to buy it. I kept remembering back to the dreaded Cappuccino chips and freezing in terror. Still, it's all for science, or at least all three of my dedicated readers, so I lied to myself and bought a bag.

The scent on opening the bag was actually pretty good. They smelled honey sweet with pepper undertones. The chips had a light dusting of red-brown powder and the slightly greasy sheen I now associate with kettle chips.

Celeste tasted them first and said, "Be ready. The flavor comes at you really fast."

She was right. The taste was a mildly spicy zing quickly followed by a strong honey note.

My initial reaction was, "Huh."

Cindy tried one and said, "Huh."

They're not horrible, but I think they're a bit too sweet.

Rating: 2/5

A Kettle of Korean

Kettle Brand Korean Barbeque

I've bought these a couple times before, but for some reason the bag always vanishes before I have a chance to review them ... which I guess in itself is a good sign.

On opening the bag I was greeted with the scents of onion, soy sauce, and barbecue sauce. The chips had a moderate amount of reddish-brown powder. Not enough to cake onto the fingertips, but enough so you'd still need to wash your hands afterwards.

The flavor of these chips is complex, with strong onion and sweet barbecue notes as well as more complex hints of smoke and maybe even a little heat.

I could eat a good amount of these chips ... as long as I didn't tell anyone I bought them. Cindy didn't say much but she did claim a good sized serving for herself.  Later in the day I saw Celeste looking for the bag in vain.

Rating: 4/5

Marmite?

Walkers Marmite

I saw these during a recent trip to Jungle Jim's and just had to get them. I've never had Marmite before but I've heard plenty of stories. Either these were going to be incredibly insanely awesome or an absolutely horrible abomination ... possibly both.

Steeling myself for the potential shock, I opened the package and sniffed it. To my delight and disappointment I did not immediately turn green and die. The chips smelled ... well, salty. There was also a hint of something else that was almost, but not quite, maple.

The chips had a slight coating of brown powder, but not enough to be really finger-staining.

Then came the moment of truth. I took a chip and ate it.

Again, disappointing surprise. They had a moderately strong, meaty flavor, not too salty, and way better than they smelled. I suppose if I were a vegan and wanted something sort of beef-ish, these would be a good option.

On the whole, they weren't unpleasant and I'm not sorry I tried them, but they're also not something I'd buy a lot of.

Rating: 3/5

Tropical Mistake

Kettle Brand Tropical Salsa

Between the brightly colored packaging and the words "tropical" and "avocado", buying these chips wasn't a hard decision. They practically jumped off the shelf and into my shopping cart.

The chips have a very pleasant scent, a mix of fruit notes and vinegar. I'm not sure but I thought there might even have been a hint of avocado from the frying oil.

The problem came in with the taste. From the first chip I was thinking, "Not bad, but it reminds me of something ...." I figured it out pretty quickly though, and subsequent conversations at the house went as follows.

Me:  "Here, try these."

Family Member: [crunch crunch crunch] 

Me:  "Do they taste like Fruity Pebbles to you?"

Family Member:  [frowning] "They do now."

After that no one would eat any more of them.

Rating: 1/5

Extra Something!

Pringles Extra Hot Chili & Lime

I picked these up at the local Kroger. I have to admit that in spite of their highly-processed artificiality, I like Pringles ... well, at least the oddly flavored ones. There's something about the uniform shape and the blank flavor palate of them that lends itself perfectly to novelty chips.

On opening the tube I was greeted by a cheerful scent of vinegar and chili. It was surprisingly pleasant given how strong it was.

Then I took out some of the chips ...

"Indy, why are the chips bleeding?"

They've got a substantial amount of disturbingly red flavor powder. Napkins are going to be necessary with these to deal with finger-staining. Then again, they're spicy chips, so you're going to want to wash your hands after eating them. Otherwise an unthinking brush of the eye (or other sensitive area) is going to be cause for interesting times.

Maybe they chose that color on purpose.

Anyways, on to the actual tasting. They have a really nice lime flavor and some chili. There's also enough burn that eating too many too quickly would become unpleasantly painful. I stopped after 4 chips in rapid succession.  I later went back and ate a bunch more, with long pauses here and there to give my taste buds a chance to recover.

Rating: 4/5

Not So Hot

Kroger Kettle Cooked Nashville Style Hot Chicken

I've had mixed success so far with Kroger's chips and I've never had Nashville hot chicken, so I really didn't have anything to base my expectations on.

On opening the bag I was greeted with an odd sort of scent that I can only describe as "dusty". There may have been a hint of vinegar in there too, but mostly it was dusty. Is that what it's supposed to smell like? I suppose the vinegar could be the pickle slices that Nashville hot chicken is served with, but on the whole it wasn't an enticing aroma.

The taste was equally unhelpful. It had a very light amount of smoky flavor and some spiciness that built up nicely, but other than that all I could taste was SALT. If they dragged these chips through the Bonneville Salt Flats it would end up scraping salt off of them. I had to check the bag to make sure I hadn't accidentally bought potato-flavored salt chips.

After eating several chips I gave up on trying to taste anything. That's when I was hit with an aftertaste of cheap, overcooked fried chicken. That flavor wasn't worth the sodium overload.

Rating: 2/5