Lotza Mozzarella

Ruffles Mozzarella 'N Marinara

I found these at the local Kroger, right next to the Flame-Grilled Cheeseburger and All Dressed Ruffles. Given how iffy pizza-flavored stuff can be, I wasn't sure what to expect - but hey, it's for science, right?

On opening the bag I was greeted by a light scent that was kind of tomato-y, along with a vague sort of pizza-dough smell ... maybe that's supposed to be the breading on the mozzarella? No idea.

Anyways, the chips were coated with a slight amount of flavor powder - mostly light orange but there were some green flecks in there too.

The surprising part was the flavor ... surprising in that it wasn't all that impressive. Mostly they tasted like typical sour cream and onion chips, with a little bit of tomato flavor and just a hint of herbs. On the whole they weren't bad, but they weren't amazing either.

On the flip side, they didn't taste like horrible-fake-pizza-flavor-things, so I guess that's a point in their favor.

Rating: 3/5

Generally Disappointing

Private Selection General Tso's Chicken

This was one of those cases where I really didn't know what to expect. The premise certainly sounded interesting, but I haven't reviewed any of the Private Selection brand chips so there was no track record to go by. Still, it's all for science ... or whatever.

The scent of these chips was a bit low-key. There was a good amount of barbecue and maybe hints of bell pepper.

The chips had a moderate amount of powder on them, though it was mostly chip-colored which made it less noticeable. They also had the kettle-chip greasiness.

I should probably admit here that I don't like kettle chips as much as other kinds. Not because of the greasiness, but I find them to be a bit too hard and sharp. Why do I keep buying them? Well, partly because I really like to try new flavors. Mostly though is because Cindy really likes them so I don't have to worry about open bags going stale.

Ok, enough of that.  Back to the review ...

They did have a good amount of chicken flavor, along with a sweet touch and maybe a hint of ... banana? There was an odd, almost plastic aftertaste though that (upon much painful thinking) was reminiscent of cheap Chinese food.

On the whole, I suppose it was a fairly accurate reproduction of General Tso's Chicken. Not from a restaurant I'd go back to often though.

Rating: 2/5

Not So Hot

Kroger Kettle Cooked Nashville Style Hot Chicken

I've had mixed success so far with Kroger's chips and I've never had Nashville hot chicken, so I really didn't have anything to base my expectations on.

On opening the bag I was greeted with an odd sort of scent that I can only describe as "dusty". There may have been a hint of vinegar in there too, but mostly it was dusty. Is that what it's supposed to smell like? I suppose the vinegar could be the pickle slices that Nashville hot chicken is served with, but on the whole it wasn't an enticing aroma.

The taste was equally unhelpful. It had a very light amount of smoky flavor and some spiciness that built up nicely, but other than that all I could taste was SALT. If they dragged these chips through the Bonneville Salt Flats it would end up scraping salt off of them. I had to check the bag to make sure I hadn't accidentally bought potato-flavored salt chips.

After eating several chips I gave up on trying to taste anything. That's when I was hit with an aftertaste of cheap, overcooked fried chicken. That flavor wasn't worth the sodium overload.

Rating: 2/5

Sub-Prime

Kroger Prime Rib & Horseradish

They had a good concept here, but they skimped on the flavor. I really couldn't taste either the beef or the horseradish. What I was left with was a chip with a slightly odd taste.