I'm Not Shellfish

  

 Lay's Spicy Lobster

Let's talk about bravery.

Celeste dug into the snack stash and pulled out a bag of chips. "Can I have these?" she asked.

I thought about it for a moment.  I was planning to do a post about them but hadn't gotten around to it, so part of me was thinking that I should tell her to wait.  But heck, she's my daughter and it wasn't the only bag of chips in the sea, so I said "Sure, go ahead."

She walked out of the room, happy.

One minute later she walked back in with the open bag and a horrified expression on her face.

This is that very bag of chips, and even after her complete rejection of them after one nibble of a chip I still tried them.

That is bravery ... or maybe stupidity ... or sheer bloodymindedness.  Nevertheless ...

The chips have a scent that's kind of like Thai fish sauce.  I suppose that's appropriate.

For appearance they're pretty unremarkable, with a light dusting of orange powder.  If I didn't know better I'd think they were ordinary cheesy chips or maybe barbecue.

The flavor, surprisingly, isn't bad.  They taste a bit like some of the fishy or nori-wrapped crackers in the cans of Hapi Party Mix - a little savory, a little fishy, and a little sweet - though these are a lot saltier.

You know you want some!

So they're not exactly something I'd seek out again, but I don't think they deserved the grimace that Celeste gave them.  Then again, I think she'd been wanting chocolate before that so it might be connected to the difference between what she wanted and what she got.

[Addendum:  These things give you serious Sea-Dragon Breath!]

Rating: 3/5

Mango Away

 

 Lay's Chile Mango

Ever since I tried the Kettle Brand Tropical Salsa chips even the thought of fruit-flavored potato chips makes me a bit twitchy.  That's kind of impressive, really, considering that was over three years ago.  So when I saw these at the local Kroger I knew I was going to buy them, but at the same time I had to ignore the little voice in the back of my mind screaming, "NONONONONONONONO!!!"

But this is the sort of sacrifice I must make for the sake of novelty.  Sometimes I must push past my point of comfort, or otherwise I'd be eating a single flavor of chips all the time and risk most certain flavor fatigue.

I opened this bag and was struck by a strong scent of rotting spinach, which then trailed off into chili powder and rotting spinach.  I can confirm that I did indeed make a "yuck" face, but this is for science, don't'cha know.

The chips had a heavy, finger staining coating of reddish-brown powder that looked like barbecue, or maybe chili powder.  

Nothing green or slimy ... perhaps my original impression was in error.  I cautiously sniffed again.  Nope, I was correct the first time.

It is a testament to my determination that I went ahead and tried a chip.

The first thing I tasted was rotting spinach, followed by an herbal note (maybe oregano?) and then old mango peels.  While most of my mind was dealing with horror and confusion that the Flavor Wizards at Lay's could have done me such a wrong, the little voice in back said, "Told you so!" and then just sat there looking smug.

Um, Lay's?  I bet you CAN eat just one.

Rating: 1/5

Chili Chili Chili

 Lay's Game Day Chili

Unless you live in Cincinnati you can never truly understand the level of excitement (or, depending on your tastes, terror) that can be caused by the word "chili".  The chili they serve here is ... unique.  Having lived here for the past twenty years, I was a little wary of buying these chips.  Nevertheless, they're chips and I saw them, so I was compelled to give them a try.

When I opened the bag I was greeted with a strong scent of barbecue.  "Barbecue?  Really?" my olfactory glands said.  I sniffed again.  Yup, definitely a nice, brown sugar and honey barbecue ... maybe with a little citrus.

Huh.

The chips are liberally coated with an orange-red powder that says, "FLAVOR!!!"

On tasting there's a light forward note that might be barbecue ... or maybe not.  This rapidly shifts to full on chili powder.  The kind that comes in big, store-brand containers at the grocery.  That's it.  No other flavors.  Just a mouthful of chili powder.  Surprisingly there's only a very mild amount of spiciness and almost no afterburn.

I think I would have liked them better if they tasted like they smell.  Of course then they'd be barbecue chips rather than chili.

Celeste liked them better than I did and seemed glad they weren't barbecue.

Rating: 2/5

Irish Try Video

 I haven't posted any chips for quite a while (hoping to change that soon), but I just came across this video from The Try Channel where they try some different flavors from Lay's.  It's a nice bit of flavor review combined with a bit of a cross-cultural twist.

The Red Menace

Lay's Ketchup

This is the third bag of chips I've got from Lay's "Tastes of America" promotion. Sadly, none of the local groceries seem to be carrying any of the other flavors. I was especially interested in trying the New England Lobster Roll chips and the Fried Pickles with Ranch. Much sadness.

I managed to get to this bag before anyone else in the house, which is a bit surprising as they were in the pantry for a full week. I think the whole idea of ketchup flavored chips kind of threw them.

This isn't the first time I've reviewed ketchup chips, and even before that I'd had some experience with them. That lead me to expect a certain degree of ... bluntness ... with the flavor. No problem! I didn't hate them the previous times so it all should be good - I opened the bag and (figuratively) dove right in.

The chips had, unsurprisingly, a strong scent of ketchup. Pretty good, though it might have been a touch heavier on the vinegar than I normally like. That might be due to the type of ketchup I'm used to (Heinz) or maybe not. In spite of a strong and irrational aversion to anything labelled "catsup" I'm really not that picky about ketchup.

Just what is it with the "catsup" spelling anyway? Does any rational human being actually prefer that spelling? It makes it sound like something meant to feed to animals. Yurgh.

Where was I?  Oh, right!

The chips were coated with a moderate amount of red powder, noticeable but not so bad as to cheetofy the fingers (and nowhere near as heavy as the ketchup chips I'd had in Canada way back when). I was about to try one when I noticed something odd.  The inside of the bag was kind of spattered with with ketchup flavor.

That got me wondering if there is something odd about this particular flavor or if other flavored chips also got flavor gunk on the inside of the bag and I'd just missed it somehow. I like to think of myself as rather observant, but now I'm filled with self doubt. Thanks, Frito-Lay. I'll send you the therapy bill.

After a few minutes of wallowing in uncertainty over my mental faculties, I remembered why I'd opened the bag in the first place and, you know, actually got around to eating a frickin' potato chip.

The flavor was light and (unsurprisingly) kind of ketchupy. The chips were also a bit sweeter than I expected (definitely not Heinz) and almost had a barbecue aspect. What really surprised me though was how mild the flavor was. I was expecting a serious level of ketchup and what I got was more ...

Lay's:  "Here, have some nice potato chips. Do they remind you at all of ketchup?"  

Me:  "Yeah, sort of ... I guess ... well ... They do smell like ketchup."

So they were pleasant and nothing about them was repulsive or anything, but the flavor was so mild that they almost weren't worth it.

Rating:  3/5

Deep Flavor

Lay's Deep Dish Pizza

This was actually the second bag of these chips I bought, because my daughter ate all of the first one. From the rumpled packaging in the photo you can probably guess that she also got to this bag before I could do the review. Fortunately I still got to try some of them.

Before I go any further, I want to make one thing clear; I'm not going to get into the whole "real pizza" debate. After all, it is written in The Book of Refreshments:

"It was then revealed to Louis, and his eyes were opened wide, that it would be very bad to ask either Drew or Tony if pizza should be thick or thin of crust. For this is a matter of greater truth that is best left to the Prophets."  [Chapter 14, verses 35-36]

With that out of the way ...

The chips had a strong scent of pizza sauce, along with an underlying note of ... cheese?  dough? I'm really not sure but it was a smell I associate with pizza.

That's not an association you should take lightly. I worked in a pizza place back in college and I still remember the smell ... um ... I mean scent ... or maybe fragrance ... ok, it was a smell.

Still, the thing is that the way these chips smelled really made me think of pizza, and not cheap crappy pizza like from that one place on High street that everyone who went to Miami University will know what I'm talking about but I'm not going to name because I don't want to get sued or anything. No, these chips smelled like good pizza with home-made sauce from one of those little mom & pop joints that have been in business since 1962 and the only person who knows the sauce recipe is the old dude working by themselves back in the kitchen.

The chips had a moderate coating of red powder with little flecks of spice that looked like oregano. That's not too surprising, really. I suppose if the flavor powder didn't already make you think of pizza then they'd add color and whatnot to make sure it did.

I found all of this pretty encouraging so I went ahead and ate some chips. Here's a surprise.  You know what? They tasted like pizza.

To be a bit more precise, they had a strong flavor of good pizza sauce without it being overpowering. There might have been some cheese flavor there as well, something like Parmesan or Romano. The flavor was real enough that I could imagine Lay's grinding up and drying whole deep-dish pizzas and sprinkling the powder on potato chips.

Not quite up to DANGER level, but still very good.

Rating: 4/5

Gotta Pop!

Lay's Wavy Bacon Wrapped Jalapeño Popper

As the summer progressed I was getting increasingly worried that Lay's wasn't going to be doing their usual batch of funky flavors. In past years they'd come out much earlier but there was nothing. Then, much to my delight, there was an announcement and a bunch of new chips hit the grocery stores.

Ok ... it's kind of sad that one of the highlights of my summer is potato chips. Nevertheless ...

"Stop with the nattering and tell us about the chips, Doc!" I hear you cry. Right-O!  I'm on it like a donkey on a waffle!

On opening the bag I was greeted to a light, smokey scent with just a hint of vinegar. It was pleasant and encouraging, and not at all overpowering.

I'm always a bit leery of bacon-flavored stuff because sometimes it's way too strong and kind of artificial in the same way that grape-flavored candy usually tastes more purple than grape. At this point in the tangent I should probably reassure you that these chips have no grape flavor or scent whatsoever. The grape thing was just a simile to illustrate my dislike of strong artificial ... never mind.

The chips themselves had a light amount of chip-colored powder with scattered green flecks. They were a bit greasy, but not as bad as kettle chips usually are.

Heartened by the pleasant scent and harmless appearance, I tried one. Huh. I first noticed a very light bacon flavor, and then a hint of cheese and jalapeño. There was just a touch of spiciness that built a bit, but it never got above what I would call "mild."

The thing is, while the first couple of chips were just sort of pleasant, the flavor steadily became more pronounced and more enticing with each one. I quickly discovered that I REALLY like these. I could easily polish off an entire bag without trying, which puts them well into a category which I'm now going to refer to as "DANGER CHIPS".

Rating:  5/5

Doesn't Stack Up

Lay's Stax Buffalo Wings with Ranch

This was the first time I tried Lay's Stax chips. I like Pringles (much to Cindy's bafflement), and Lay's has done pretty well with other flavors, so I figured these would be worth a try.

I would like to note that I prefer the Pringles packaging. The plastic canister that Stax comes in makes them seem even farther from being actual food. That being said, I didn't take the packaging into account for the rating below. It's all about the actual chips, don't'cha know.

On opening the top of the canister I was greeted by a pretty good buffalo scent. Wait ... having seen actual live buffalo that doesn't sound right. I mean they (the chips, not the buffalo) smelled reasonably like buffalo sauce ... which isn't sauce made by or put on buffalo ... but I think maybe the sauce originated in Buffalo, New York or something.

Anyways, I dumped out a few of the chips and the first thing I noticed is that they're not shaped like Pringles. Stax are curved like they were made on the outside of a cylinder, whereas Pringles are shaped like a hyperbolic paraboloid.

The chips also had a heavy coating of orange-red powder ... but only on one side. I've read that Pringles are also only coated on one side, but somehow this seemed more pronounced. Weird.

As for taste, I got a solid sour cream and ranch flavor and a burst of heat. Surprisingly though there wasn't much in the way of buffalo flavor. I was expecting a bit of vinegar and such that just wasn't there.

Cindy turned up her nose at them.

On the whole, I thought they were ok. However the Pringles Buffalo Ranch is better.

Rating: 3/5

Honey Chipotle Don't Care

Lay's Kettle Cooked Honey Chipotle

I have to admit that the fact that the flavor has the word "honey" in the name made me hesitant to buy it. I kept remembering back to the dreaded Cappuccino chips and freezing in terror. Still, it's all for science, or at least all three of my dedicated readers, so I lied to myself and bought a bag.

The scent on opening the bag was actually pretty good. They smelled honey sweet with pepper undertones. The chips had a light dusting of red-brown powder and the slightly greasy sheen I now associate with kettle chips.

Celeste tasted them first and said, "Be ready. The flavor comes at you really fast."

She was right. The taste was a mildly spicy zing quickly followed by a strong honey note.

My initial reaction was, "Huh."

Cindy tried one and said, "Huh."

They're not horrible, but I think they're a bit too sweet.

Rating: 2/5

Best of Both Worlds?

Lay's Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese

Everyone likes bacon. Everyone likes mac & cheese. This should be the perfect flavor of potato chip, right?

I've actually tried these before back when the flavor first came out, but I didn't write anything down so I guess it never really happened. That means it's time to have them again so I can do it right.

As I opened this bag I was greeted with a puff of bacon scent, not overpowering but enough to leave no doubt.

The flavor is surprisingly mild. The balance of bacon and cheese flavor is good with neither one masking the other. The chips are a bit cheese-powdery but not excessively so. I can't decide if there's an underlying flavor of macaroni or if it's just natural potato chip flavor.

The burps definitely taste like bacon mac & cheese.

On the whole these aren't bad. The flavor is a bit muted compared to some of the other chips, however one doesn't always want one's taste buds decimated with spice.

Celeste found them disappointing and declined to eat any more of them.

Rating: 3/5

A Small Wave of Barbecue

Lay's Wavy Hickory BBQ

This is one of (what I assume are) the standard line of Lay's flavors available at most groceries. I've liked most of the barbecue flavored chips I've tried to one degree or another, so this one was a fairly safe bet.

The opened bag smelled decently barbecue sauce. The chips had a bit of color powder on them but not to the finger-staining level. The flavor was fairly mild and in some ways I thought these were actually a big boring. Their saving grace though was the clear note of hickory smoke.

I wouldn't go out of my way to buy these, but given a choice between these and plain potato chips I'd be happy to have the extra flavor.

Rating: 3/5

Thai Basil?

Lays Sweet Basil Flavor

After a couple of recent experiences with chips from overseas, I hesitated a bit before buying these. Still, your intrepid chip-taster must carry on!

I got them at Jungle Jim's (of course). From the packaging it looks like they were made for distribution in Thailand - the ingredients and product information is all in Thai, covered over with a sticker in English to meet US labeling laws.

Opening the package yielded an ... interesting ... smell ... that I couldn't quite identify. It wasn't the basil or chili pepper I would have expected from the picture on the front. I suppose it could be something like nam pla (fish sauce), but if so then it's not very fishy.

Just so you know, I also hesitated a bit before trying one.

They weren't bad, per se. They had a little bit of a bite that was closer to wasabi than chili, though it did have an afterburn. The taste was sweet, with a hint of Worcestershire sauce, which probably really is nam pla. I suppose there might be basil buried in there somewhere.

All in all it wasn't a bad experience, but it also wasn't one I'd be eager to repeat.

Rating: 3/5

Seems Kind of Fancy Schmancy

Lay's Kettle Cooked Olive Oil & Herb

Saw these at the local grocery and was a bit surprised. They're not part of Lay's regular summer fun flavor promotion and I hadn't heard anything about them. Maybe there are TV commercials I'm missing because we don't watch broadcast television? Ok, even if there are commercials and I'm not seeing them, I still don't really miss them.

Anyways, this is a fine example of truth in advertising. The opened bag had a light scent of herbs. The chips weren't too salty and tasted distinctly (but not heavily) of olive oil and herbs (predominantly rosemary and thyme).

Really these were quite nice. It was a large bag, but it didn't last long.

Rating: 4/5

Everything?

Lay's Kettle Cooked Everything Bagel

I ended up with three bags of these chips. I got one at the grocery on the way to Gen Con thinking that they might be a good travel snack. Of course I ended up not opening them out of fear they'd spill or get stale. Then I picked up a small back at Subway (turns out they've got all three of Lay's fun flavors). Cindy bought the third bag while I was away as a surprise.

Good thing they're decent chips!

One thing I discovered is that Lay's might have a problem with consistency. The small bag had a lot more salt and flavoring than the large ones, and there was a noticeable difference between the large bags as well.

I mostly tasted garlic and salt with a slightly cheesy undertone. Cindy said all she could really taste was the cream cheese.  I'd been hoping for more flavor of sesame and poppy seeds.

Still, they're pleasant tasting chips. Just not as funky as the Taco or even the Fried Green Tomato chips.

Rating: 3/5

Probably Exactly Right

Lay's Wavy Fried Green Tomato

I know I've had fried green tomatoes before, but I really can't remember what they taste like. That makes it a challenge for me to know how close the Lay's flavor geniuses got on this one.

That being said, these are really tasty chips. They've got enough flavor to keep you eating, but not so much that it's at all overpowering.  I kept tasting notes of pickle and ketchup, which when I think about it sounds pretty much right. Cindy said they tasted more like a mix of vinegar and sour cream & onion.

Not as entertaining as the Crispy Taco flavor, but more like something I'd buy on a regular basis.

Rating: 3/5

It's Taco ... Sunday?

Lay's Crispy Taco

Look what I found at the grocery!

The food scientists at Lay's have worked their magic again. With the very first bite I could taste taco meat, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, and even the corn tortilla. Others in the family said they tasted tomato and onion.

On the whole these are a win - I've had real tacos that didn't taste this good.

Rating: 4/5

Cheese!

Lay's Cheddar and Sour Cream

No real surprise with this one. They pretty much taste like the Ruffles sour cream and cheddar chips (they're owned by the same people so it's probably the exact same flavor). These are not bad, but nothing exciting either.

I'm curious about the flavors advertised on the upper left: Crispy Taco, Everything Bagel, and Fried Green Tomato. Unfortunately they're not in the store yet.

Rating: 3/5

In a Pickle

Lay's Dill Pickle

I got these at a Kroger-owned gas station. They have a good dill pickle flavor, but not as sharp as most salt & vinegar chips I've had.

Rating: 3/5

The Wurst

Lay's Beer & Brats

At first all I could taste was potato chip with a hint of beer (which is just the right amount since I don't like beer), but the flavor of bratwurst built up. Now, five minutes after I stopped eating them, my mouth tastes like I had a light beer and a big, greasy brat. Rather impressive, really.

Rating: 4/5

In Queso Emergency

Lay's Southwestern Queso

This one isn't bad. It initially tastes like a cross between "sour cream and onion" and cheddar, but there's an afterburn that builds up and gives you a strong queso dip flavor ... about five minutes after you stop eating them.

Rating: 4/5