Tropical Mistake

Kettle Brand Tropical Salsa

Between the brightly colored packaging and the words "tropical" and "avocado", buying these chips wasn't a hard decision. They practically jumped off the shelf and into my shopping cart.

The chips have a very pleasant scent, a mix of fruit notes and vinegar. I'm not sure but I thought there might even have been a hint of avocado from the frying oil.

The problem came in with the taste. From the first chip I was thinking, "Not bad, but it reminds me of something ...." I figured it out pretty quickly though, and subsequent conversations at the house went as follows.

Me:  "Here, try these."

Family Member: [crunch crunch crunch] 

Me:  "Do they taste like Fruity Pebbles to you?"

Family Member:  [frowning] "They do now."

After that no one would eat any more of them.

Rating: 1/5

Extra Something!

Pringles Extra Hot Chili & Lime

I picked these up at the local Kroger. I have to admit that in spite of their highly-processed artificiality, I like Pringles ... well, at least the oddly flavored ones. There's something about the uniform shape and the blank flavor palate of them that lends itself perfectly to novelty chips.

On opening the tube I was greeted by a cheerful scent of vinegar and chili. It was surprisingly pleasant given how strong it was.

Then I took out some of the chips ...

"Indy, why are the chips bleeding?"

They've got a substantial amount of disturbingly red flavor powder. Napkins are going to be necessary with these to deal with finger-staining. Then again, they're spicy chips, so you're going to want to wash your hands after eating them. Otherwise an unthinking brush of the eye (or other sensitive area) is going to be cause for interesting times.

Maybe they chose that color on purpose.

Anyways, on to the actual tasting. They have a really nice lime flavor and some chili. There's also enough burn that eating too many too quickly would become unpleasantly painful. I stopped after 4 chips in rapid succession.  I later went back and ate a bunch more, with long pauses here and there to give my taste buds a chance to recover.

Rating: 4/5

Not So Hot

Kroger Kettle Cooked Nashville Style Hot Chicken

I've had mixed success so far with Kroger's chips and I've never had Nashville hot chicken, so I really didn't have anything to base my expectations on.

On opening the bag I was greeted with an odd sort of scent that I can only describe as "dusty". There may have been a hint of vinegar in there too, but mostly it was dusty. Is that what it's supposed to smell like? I suppose the vinegar could be the pickle slices that Nashville hot chicken is served with, but on the whole it wasn't an enticing aroma.

The taste was equally unhelpful. It had a very light amount of smoky flavor and some spiciness that built up nicely, but other than that all I could taste was SALT. If they dragged these chips through the Bonneville Salt Flats it would end up scraping salt off of them. I had to check the bag to make sure I hadn't accidentally bought potato-flavored salt chips.

After eating several chips I gave up on trying to taste anything. That's when I was hit with an aftertaste of cheap, overcooked fried chicken. That flavor wasn't worth the sodium overload.

Rating: 2/5

This is Verde Action Is!

Kettle Chile Verde

I picked these up at the local Kroger, but before I get into the whole "chip" side of things I'd like to make a couple of comments about packaging. If you're in the chip-packaging business (unlikely) I hope you'll take note of the following (even more unlikely).

First, the material this bag is made of would be suitable for making bullet-proof vests. It doesn't tear or deform easily and the seal at the top (and bottom) of the bag are as strong or stronger than the packaging material itself. This is actually not a good thing if you want your customers to do something like ... I don't know ... maybe open the bag or something.

Second, if you look closely at the top of the package, there's a little notch cut into it.

(evil trap at top of package)

Anyone who has ever opened a plastic package by tearing it at a notch like this knows what happens next; the packaging material will somehow become molecularly unstable and the tear will split the bag all the way down the side to the bottom, spilling chips all over the floor, and rendering the whole thing unsuitable for resealing with a chip-clip. Any uneaten chips will become stale and the party will be ruined. To the designer of this feature I say, "I hate you."

I opened the bag with a pair of scissors.

With that out of the way, let's talk about the actual chips.

The freshly opened (with a pair of scissors) bag had a light scent of vinegar and just a hint of something that could be chili peppers. The chips had a slightly oily sheen to them and the occasional green fleck of spice, but no powdery coating of note.

The flavor was pretty mild at first, but by the second or third chip I could taste onion, garlic, and a bit of something meaty. There was also a hint of a kind of "green" flavor that was probably either tomatillo or chili pepper. The spiciness of the chips kept building with each one, making for a reasonably good burn after four or five. I kept thinking I could taste guacamole but I think that was just a combination of the other flavors.

On the whole, these are really good (except for the packaging). I saved the rest of the bag for later by closing it with a chip-clip.

Rating: 4/5

Leggo My Fuego!

Barcel Fuego Flavor Burst

So far I haven't found any chips that are too spicy to actually eat. That said, I'm not trying all that hard. I'd like my taste buds to stay functional.

I picked these up at Jungle Jim's recently (where else?) as part of my perpetual search for new and different flavors.

On opening the package I was greeted with a light scent of vinegar, along with hints of citrus and chili pepper.

The chips have a significant amount of red powder. These things are going to stain the fingers - napkins and hand washing are going to be necessary after eating.

The flavor of the chips is good. There's a strong taste of lime and a bit of tartness, with a mild burn that steadily builds as you keep eating.  It builds quite a lot, actually.  Ok, after a small handful of chips I had to stop and drink something.

Consumer Advisory: Guys, if you're going to eat these it is highly recommended you wash your hands afterwards before going to the bathroom.  Just sayin'.

Rating: 3/5