Tuesday, July 31, 2018

I Can't Hear You

Pringles Loud Zesty Ranch


I took one look at these in the grocery store and said, "What?" 

I suppose potato chips can be considered "LOUD" if they're really really crunchy. Like when, no matter how slowly and gently you chew them, the crunching sound goes right through your cheeks and wakes up the neighbor's dog who then watches you eat the rest of the chips, following each one from the package to your mouth and silently judging you as the sort of person who wouldn't give and obviously starving dog one measly little potato chip. You monster.

A potato chip could also be considered "LOUD" if the flavor were really strong. You know the kind. You eat one and for the next three hours you taste nothing but flavor powder and your breath peels the paint off the walls and nobody will kiss you ever again.

I had to know which one it was, so I bought them.

I opened the canister and was greeted by the scent of ... something. It was really pretty faint. Maybe ranch? Yeah, it could be ranch ... I suppose ... on a foggy day.

The chips looked like slightly thicker than normal Pringles, with heavy yellow powder on one side only.  They were also a bit browner than usual.

I ate one. It didn't crunch any more than usual. No sign of the neighbor's dog.

The flavor was of onions, salt, corn chips, and a slight hint of sour cream. As I crunched I looked at the ingredients label. It turns out Pringles LOUD is made from yellow corn flour rather than potato.

I ate a few more to try and understand the experience I was having. After a bit the taste got to be more ranch-like, but it was still mostly salt and corn chips.

The paint stayed on the walls. Cindy was still willing to kiss me.

Nope. They're ok, but I just don't get the "LOUD" part.

Rating: 3/5



Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Smokey Says ...

Kettle Brand Wood Smoked Sea Salt



I almost didn't buy these.

You'll notice that there aren't a lot of reviews on this site of unflavored potato chips. I suppose that I could comment on how good the potato ... flavor is, on the crunchiness, or on how many or few chips are actually in the package. Where's the fun in that though? I mean really, unflavored potato chips are really kind of boring. I MUST HAVE FLAVOR!

With that in mind, I just wasn't sure if smoked salt counts as a flavor. I mean technically, yes, it does, kind of, sort of, but is it a real flavor? Well, there was only one way to find out.

In spite of my best efforts so far, Kettle Brand's packaging still features their patented Evil-Bag-Ruining-Notch™. Note the top of the bag in the photo - I defeated their plans with a pair of scissors. One day they will see reason, but today is not that day.

The chips had a good scent of ... um ... wood smoke. It wasn't too heavy but it was unmistakable. [*sniff* *sniff*] ... "Burning wood. Huh."

On the plus side for those obsessed with keeping there fingers clean, there was no flavor powder at all. Really given how many kinds of flavored chips I've tried this was something I was completely unused to.

As for the taste, these chips had a distinct flavor of ... um ... wood smoke. Again it was light, which I suspect is a good thing. You don't want to eat a chip and then feel like you'd French kissed a campfire.

Overall, these chips came across as good but somehow boring at the same time.

Rating: 4/5