I'm Not Shellfish

  

 Lay's Spicy Lobster

Let's talk about bravery.

Celeste dug into the snack stash and pulled out a bag of chips. "Can I have these?" she asked.

I thought about it for a moment.  I was planning to do a post about them but hadn't gotten around to it, so part of me was thinking that I should tell her to wait.  But heck, she's my daughter and it wasn't the only bag of chips in the sea, so I said "Sure, go ahead."

She walked out of the room, happy.

One minute later she walked back in with the open bag and a horrified expression on her face.

This is that very bag of chips, and even after her complete rejection of them after one nibble of a chip I still tried them.

That is bravery ... or maybe stupidity ... or sheer bloodymindedness.  Nevertheless ...

The chips have a scent that's kind of like Thai fish sauce.  I suppose that's appropriate.

For appearance they're pretty unremarkable, with a light dusting of orange powder.  If I didn't know better I'd think they were ordinary cheesy chips or maybe barbecue.

The flavor, surprisingly, isn't bad.  They taste a bit like some of the fishy or nori-wrapped crackers in the cans of Hapi Party Mix - a little savory, a little fishy, and a little sweet - though these are a lot saltier.

You know you want some!

So they're not exactly something I'd seek out again, but I don't think they deserved the grimace that Celeste gave them.  Then again, I think she'd been wanting chocolate before that so it might be connected to the difference between what she wanted and what she got.

[Addendum:  These things give you serious Sea-Dragon Breath!]

Rating: 3/5

Mango Away

 

 Lay's Chile Mango

Ever since I tried the Kettle Brand Tropical Salsa chips even the thought of fruit-flavored potato chips makes me a bit twitchy.  That's kind of impressive, really, considering that was over three years ago.  So when I saw these at the local Kroger I knew I was going to buy them, but at the same time I had to ignore the little voice in the back of my mind screaming, "NONONONONONONONO!!!"

But this is the sort of sacrifice I must make for the sake of novelty.  Sometimes I must push past my point of comfort, or otherwise I'd be eating a single flavor of chips all the time and risk most certain flavor fatigue.

I opened this bag and was struck by a strong scent of rotting spinach, which then trailed off into chili powder and rotting spinach.  I can confirm that I did indeed make a "yuck" face, but this is for science, don't'cha know.

The chips had a heavy, finger staining coating of reddish-brown powder that looked like barbecue, or maybe chili powder.  

Nothing green or slimy ... perhaps my original impression was in error.  I cautiously sniffed again.  Nope, I was correct the first time.

It is a testament to my determination that I went ahead and tried a chip.

The first thing I tasted was rotting spinach, followed by an herbal note (maybe oregano?) and then old mango peels.  While most of my mind was dealing with horror and confusion that the Flavor Wizards at Lay's could have done me such a wrong, the little voice in back said, "Told you so!" and then just sat there looking smug.

Um, Lay's?  I bet you CAN eat just one.

Rating: 1/5

Chili Chili Chili

 Lay's Game Day Chili

Unless you live in Cincinnati you can never truly understand the level of excitement (or, depending on your tastes, terror) that can be caused by the word "chili".  The chili they serve here is ... unique.  Having lived here for the past twenty years, I was a little wary of buying these chips.  Nevertheless, they're chips and I saw them, so I was compelled to give them a try.

When I opened the bag I was greeted with a strong scent of barbecue.  "Barbecue?  Really?" my olfactory glands said.  I sniffed again.  Yup, definitely a nice, brown sugar and honey barbecue ... maybe with a little citrus.

Huh.

The chips are liberally coated with an orange-red powder that says, "FLAVOR!!!"

On tasting there's a light forward note that might be barbecue ... or maybe not.  This rapidly shifts to full on chili powder.  The kind that comes in big, store-brand containers at the grocery.  That's it.  No other flavors.  Just a mouthful of chili powder.  Surprisingly there's only a very mild amount of spiciness and almost no afterburn.

I think I would have liked them better if they tasted like they smell.  Of course then they'd be barbecue chips rather than chili.

Celeste liked them better than I did and seemed glad they weren't barbecue.

Rating: 2/5